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To Those With Fibromyalgia, It's OK to 'Cry If You Want To'

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“It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to…”

An old song about a lost love. Those of us with fibromyalgia have lost loves, too. Specifically, the ability to do things we no longer can. Things that brought us joy and freedom. Dancing, concerts, bowling, tennis, sitting at the theater, walking in the woods — these become more and more rare occurrences when your body just can’t hold out like it used to. They are lost to us and recalling those happy memories sometimes will be very bittersweet. Especially if the symptoms show up strong while you’re young.

This is not an everyday thing with fibromyalgia, but on the days that are marked for certain chores, projects or appointments, the “back burner” gets priority. It makes us sad. It makes us cry. Is this really chronic depression or just a regular cycle of sadness that will pass? If it’s sadness and I need to cry it out of me for it to pass, then so be it. Our bodies are made to be able to cry. Crying is a release mechanism that should be used for that purpose: to release the stress we are experiencing. It’s OK to cry.

If, however, the crying becomes an everyday thing, then perhaps an evaluation of the problem may reveal something deeper that requires better attention or medication for relief. But being sad occasionally is natural and understandable. Life is certainly not a bowl of cherries. Having to give up certain liberties and physical activities is something that comes with aging anyway. It’s just harder to accept this if you’re not “old” in your own eyes.

Don’t embrace the sadness of it all. It’s very easy to become addicted to all that negativity. Instead, dispel the grief, cry it out, do whatever you can accomplish and if your body simply needs to rest, then rest. Listen to what your body is telling you and cry if you want to. It might just help you a lot.

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Originally published: November 4, 2016
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