How a Beatles Song Explains Life After Becoming Chronically Ill
As I sit here listening to “Hello, Goodbye” by the Beatles, it reminded me of my life and the way things have been going lately. We all go through tough times during our lives. Although we cannot control everything that happens to us, we can control how we react to it. I have had numerous life changes over the past four years, some good and some not-so-good. Events have happened that I wouldn’t have ever imagined happening to my family or me.
I had spent a lot of time mourning the life I had before I got sick. It is only normal to go through a time of mourning things that we have lost after a tragedy or illness happens. I have looked in the mirror many mornings in tears, staring at a person I do not recognize anymore. The additional pounds that the steroids have added, the scars, the swelling, etc. Losing a job I loved after 13 years. All the time and effort I put into my education and obtaining my BS and MBA. Now, what was I doing with my life? Some mornings, barely able to get out of bed. Being able to take a shower is like an Olympic event. All of this reminds me of what I used to be.
Until recently, I was so busy saying “goodbye” to what I had lost and missed the chance to say “hello” to all that I have gained. Once I started looking at myself, I liked the person I saw in the mirror. No, I am not a size two anymore. Big deal. I can’t ride my bike for miles. So what. I can take baby steps to exercising and I am starting to. I don’t get up every day and go into the corporate world. Thank goodness! Now, I am my own boss and living my dream. I wouldn’t have ever been able to go to Bali and find out my new path if I was still working my old job. I have met some extraordinary people on this new leg of my journey that I wouldn’t have met if I didn’t get sick. I still have my degrees and may be able to use them in the future. I believe God has met and exceeded all of our needs. The things I was so worried about after I lost my job have not even been an issue. I believe God’s ways are not my ways.
My favorite quote from “The Shawshank Redemption” is, “You can get busy living or get busy dying.” I choose to live. Goodbye to the life I thought I wanted and hello to the life I choose. A life full of gratefulness for every living moment and everyone in it!
As the Beatles song says, “I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say hello.”
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