Dear Insurance Company: I'm Sorry


Dear Insurance Company,

I feel I must owe you an apology.

I’m sorry for being chronically ill. I can hear the impatience, contempt, and even anger in your voice when we communicate. You’ve made it clear that my condition is a huge inconvenience to you, and I never intended for it to be this way.

I’m sorry that no matter how many times I’ve explained my symptoms to you, you still don’t understand exactly what the problem is. I’m sorry that my doctors and specialists haven’t been able to clarify anything for you either. Even the assessments you yourselves have ordered don’t seem to have given you any insight into my illness.

I’m sorry that despite having so much information and so many reports on hand, supporting numerous diagnoses, that you are still unable to grasp the basic concepts of my condition. I can’t imagine how frustrating that must be for you.

I’m sorry that I insist on consulting my doctors prior to following any of your recommendations, and I’m sorry that they don’t always agree with you. I do this because it’s my priority to do what’s best for my health and well-being, even though I know you don’t see it that way.

I’m sorry you’ve put so much effort into trying to prove I’m not sick. I know you genuinely believe I am just fine, and it must be a tremendously unpleasant experience when numerous health care professionals tell you otherwise.

I’m sorry that my health has not improved in the years that I’ve been dealing with you, and for the severe anxiety I’ve developed from being repeatedly invalidated and threatened by you.

I’m sorry that my chronic illness is permanent and incurable, and that, regardless of how many times you say “rehabilitation,” “progress” and “recovery,” I haven’t been able to make it go away.

I’m sorry, dear Insurance Company.

I really hope that, someday, you’ll find a way to cope with all of this.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Lead photo by Thinkstock Images


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Chronic Illness

Medical Records Patient Chart

Show Me the Data: Getting Your Medical Records 101

Disclaimer: This article reflects one patient’s experience and should not be taken as legal advice. As a patient with chronic illnesses, I’ve seen a lot of doctors. Many. Gazillions. I don’t even remember the names of all the medical providers I’ve seen over the years. However, I do have documentation from them: lab reports, imaging [...]
doctor comforting his patient

What My Desperation for Doctor Validation Taught Me About My Body

Many of us who have chronic illness have been to our fair share of doctors and specialists. I know I sought out mental health professionals because I was fully convinced the symptoms I felt were in my head. I went to rheumatologists, primary care physicians, pain physicians, physiatrists, hematologists, and orthopedic surgeons. If I did not [...]
Young woman sitting on a rock in Central Park in New York City.

Why I'm Thankful for My Chronic Illnesses This Thanksgiving

“I am thankful for my family.” “I am thankful for my friends.” These are normal answers to the question: “What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?” Most people answer it as quickly as they can without much thought. They throw out the answers everyone else wants to hear. When considering this question for myself, I [...]
pumpkin carved like jack skellington

When Pushing Myself Despite My Health Challenges Is Worth It

This year I decided to indulge in the Halloween spirit and buy pumpkins. I’ve never actually carved a pumpkin before and felt like I was missing out; my bucket list of things I’ve not done is so long that ticking this one off seemed pretty doable. Given my recent hospital trip, pumpkin festivities were a little delayed [...]