Unfortunately, my medical conditions can fluctuate. They can flare up, misbehave and happen at any point. No matter how many setbacks I have, it never seems to get any easier, and regrettably, they don’t seem to end.
One thing I do know is there seems to be “stages” we have to go through in order to overcome a big obstacle regarding our health, so we can carry on with our lives.
1. Denial.
Things can happen in a split second. Your health can be fine, minus the normal aches and pains, which you consider your version of normal.
Suddenly, you’re in the back of an ambulance. Things are going wrong that are completely out of your control. There are beeping machines and a lot of new faces who want a response from you. The only word that make sense in the hospital are “not again” or “this can’t be happening.”
The entire situation is a big blur, and you don’t even want to think about. It may be hard to believe what happened, since things went by so quickly. You’re running on adrenaline and medication. You may sleep a great deal, which doesn’t help with days turning into nights and nights turning back into days. They’re all just the same thing.
2. Sadness and frustration.
When things finally hit home, it’s upsetting. Of course it is! You’re upset that all the hard work you have previously invested in improving your health now seems pretty pointless. This could lead to frustration, and that’s OK. Be annoyed at the fact you are in the hospital, be irritated by the fact that you feel no one is listening to you and be cross at the fact you can’t even rely on yourself to function “normally” for a short period of time. As clichéd as this sounds, you just want to be like everyone else, and, yet again, you are reminded this isn’t the case.
3. Why bother?
You have been in this position before, and you know you will probably be in it again. The cycle of recovering from something never seems to end. Is there much point putting the time, energy, pain and so much more into getting back on your feet if you can’t seem to keep a hold of it? As soon as things start looking up, your health has other plans. Every time you think it’s going well, you’re proven wrong. You question it more times than you care to admit, yet never quite decide what you want to do. Why bother if you know in the long run you’ll be in the exact same position?
4. Let’s do this!
You’ve reached the final stage, and despite how long this has taken, you’re glad to have gotten this far. Your stubbornness and determination that may have been overpowered during the other stages is back.
Having a long-term condition is by no means easy, but that’s what makes you stronger. Why give up now? You want to gain back control of the whirlwind you have been pushed into and enough is enough! You want to prove to yourself that you cannot be beaten.
If you have managed to come back from all the past setbacks, then it’s possible to come back from the one you are now confronted with. Remember everything you have overcome, look at everything you’ve beaten that should have knocked you down and get ready to do it all again because it’s something that your future self will be extremely grateful for.
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Hi, I am 18, I have mild Cerebral Palsy and I run the blog ‘Life as a Cerebral Palsy student’. I am currently sitting my A- Levels and hope to become a teacher in the future. I love blogging and campaigning in my spare time, as well as being the head ambassador for CP Teens UK. “Go turn your obstacles into opportunities and never ever look back”- Chloe Tear
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