To Those Who Love Me When I Can't Love Myself

First of all, thank you. Thank you for listening when all I do is tear myself apart. Thank you for hugging me when I could crawl out of my skin. Thank you for holding my hand when I think I’m walking alone. But most of all, thank you for seeing my potential in even my darkest moments.

I also want to say that I am sorry. I’m sorry sometimes I can’t see anything positive about myself. I’m sorry sometimes even eating is too much. I’m sorry I have so many internal and external scars you’ve had to see.

It’s hard for me to be friends with people with eating disorders. And I have one. So, I can only imagine how you must feel. I can’t begin to understand how it must feel to watch me, us, starving and struggling. It must all seem so juvenile and simple to you. I don’t understand what it’s like to see a loved one with IVs and feeding tubes. But it must hurt.

Based on those things alone, I wouldn’t blame you if you ran far and fast. But you don’t. And that is one thing I will never understand but will be forever grateful for.

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