Goodbye to Anorexia, Hello to a Better Life

I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa at 17, and I had body image and self-esteem issues for long before that. Now, at 21 years old, I really can’t remember ever living a life that wasn’t controlled by anorexia. Currently, I am in the middle of yet another intense battle with it.

Anorexia is a life-threatening illness. It’s scary. It’s lonely. It’s pure agony.

I often lie awake in bed scared because my heart is barely beating. I get pounding headaches, feel lightheaded and nauseous as a result of malnutrition and dangerously low blood pressure. Yet, instead of eating, I continue restricting, exercising and taking diet pills.

If I don’t fight this eating disorder, then I stop fighting for my life. So, I am proud to say I am in treatment, and I am ready to say goodbye to my eating disorder. I am fighting because I know my life’s worth living, and I have so much potential and so much to live for.

Saying goodbye won’t be easy. It’s going to be the hardest, most grueling and daunting battle I will ever fight. Yet, I am ready to say hello to a better life that isn’t controlled by anorexia. Although I have a long way to go, I’m hopeful I can finally beat anorexia , one day at a time.

One day, I will be a psychiatrist helping those struggling. For now, I am ready to focus on myself and my recovery.

This post originally appeared on Medium.

 If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237.

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