It's OK to Feel a Little Broken When You're Fighting Chronic Illness


This week has been challenging beyond belief. It broke me both emotionally and physically, from receiving my 11th chemo infusion to crying in front of my neurologist from my hospital bed. I am tired, I am stressed and I could really do with playing with about a dozen puppies.

Life with chronic illness is tougher than most people will be able to understand – that in itself is a very alienating and quite the depressing thought. Physical illness has such a noticeable yet underrated effect on an individual’s emotional well-being. Chronic illness warriors are so used to fighting against our own bodies that by the time we have to face the emotions formed as a result of these odd physical manifestations, we may be too exhausted to pay the appropriate amount of attention to them. This can lead to a horrible build up, but if one just adds a little external stress to the situation (like exams or your cat dying) you are guaranteed to experience an emotional cataclysm of majestic proportions.

There is no shame in a little self-pity. Fighting your own system 24/7 can lead to an emotional roller coaster that might force you to listen to Adele and envision your good days as Adele’s lost ex-boyfriends.

Hello Past Healthy Self? It’s me. I’ve been wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet.

I speak from personal experience when I tell you that excessive amounts of chocolate or cute baby animal videos can help drag you out of your wallowing — but only when you are ready to leave the black abyss your mind has turned into. I think people truly underestimate the influential repercussions of just thinking happy thoughts. The World Health Organization defines health as physical, emotional and social well-being. Not only the absence of disease, or in my case symptoms. Never underestimate the importance of emotional well-being. Having a little mercy on yourself every now and then is a healthy coping mechanism.

Life gets tough for all of us, even healthy people. It is OK to feel a little defeated at times, but the most important part it to move on as quickly as you can. Never stop fighting, beauties. Life is beautiful.

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