It latches itself into you by wrapping a clawed tentacle around your ankle, placing its talons on your arm, or sinking its barbs into your back and digging in.
Once it has claimed and marked its territory, it sits there quietly, biding its time and waiting for the perfect moment to pounce.
Meanwhile, it whispers to you.
Lies, nightmares, deep-seeded secrets, insecurities, horrors of your past… It feeds into you every night and day.
And it waits.
Waits for the sweet smell of fear, uncertainty, stress, self -doubt, or self-loathing.
And then it strikes!
It digs its claws deeper into your back, sinks its fangs deep into your neck and begins to feed. It gnaws at you, making everything going through your brain bigger, worse, and a thousand times more painful.
As you struggle through your fear, anger, doubt, uncertainty and stress, its poison continues to work its way through you. Before you know it, you’re blinded by terror. The whispers have turned into screeches.
Your heart races, you gasp for breath, you start to cry, feeling like there’s no way out, this is it, I’m going to die…
The more afraid you are, the more it feeds, gulping delicious fear and panic, gorging itself on your terror. It holds you in its grasp as you writhe and squirm, lost to the demons in your head, oblivious to your surroundings. It grows larger and larger as your panic and fear grows, ballooning up, threatening to explode…
Then, a voice cuts through the noise, the fear, the panic, the screeches, reminding you to breath.
A pair of arms surrounds you, holding you close and safe.
As you listen to the voice, as you lean on the arms, as your breathing returns to normal and your terror fades, you feel the fangs disengage. You feel it removing itself from the back of your neck and letting up its grip just a bit.
You know it won’t leave you alone forever.
But, while it’s gone, while the fangs are out and the whisperings are at a minimum, for now, you can relax in those arms, breathe normally, open your eyes, and smile.
Follow this journey on The Inner Demons.
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Thinkstock photo by arvitalya
Hey there! I'm 29, recently married, live in Michigan, USA, and am a barista at Starbucks. I enjoy spending time with my husband, who is my rock, and my stepdaughter, as well as friends and family. I'm an avid reader and writer, and am writing a blog about my journey through life with mental illness. I write to encourage, connect, and change myself and others by sharing experiences, resources, and pain, breaking the silence and stigma of mental illness, and to let others who suffer know that they are not alone. I pray one day that the words I write will have the power to change the world.
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