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When Fear Has Me

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“Each decision is an opportunity to experience life in a new way; to learn and grow, to find out who you are and what you would like to do in this life. Each path is strewn with opportunities – despite the outcome.” — Susan Jeffers, “Feel the Fear” p. 114

The following was taken from a recent journal entry. This is what it is like to live with anxiety and panic attacks. It’s raw, real and pretty personal, but it gets to the heart of how fear can affect you and how difficult it can be to stand up to your fear. But it is possible to resist your fear. It is a fight worth every ounce of energy you’ve got. I hope this resonates with you and encourages you to continue your journey of recovery.

* * *

Fear. It has me.

It shrinks me, fences me in, poisons my mind and steals my confidence. It has me living a lesser life than I should.

Fear. It has me?

Fears about what other people think of me, of seeming stupid or fat or awkward or lonely, of making no valuable contribution, of being ignored, of reaching the end of my life with nothing but nice experiences and nice things, of intimacy, of vulnerability, of really talking, of being “known” and then being rejected, being “seen” and being disliked, of change, and things moving too fast, being left behind and being an outcast. And fear of fear. “Fear capitalizing on a captive audience.

Fear. It has me.

The medication doesn’t work. It didn’t give me back my life. You may feel less panic, but your fences are still smaller. The medication creates an extra window so you can see your world and feel less trapped. You gain a new point of view, but you still have to reach for the doorknob.

Fear. It has me?

The only push back is to not give in. The fears come, but you don’t have to let them win the day. Do the scary thing, the “scares-the-hell-out-of-me” thing. Like talking and speaking up. It’s that, or you shrink.

“I suggest that you do something that widens that space for you. Call someone you were afraid to call, buy something for more than you ever paid in the past, ask for something you have been too afraid to ask for before. Take a risk a day – one small or bold stroke it will make you feel great once you have done it.”  Susan Jeffers, Feel the Fear” p. 43.

If you enjoyed this article, you will also enjoy Breathe into the Bag: Gender and the Anxiety Gap and 13 Ways that Anxiety is Your Superpower.I write articles about wellness, leadership, parenting and personal growth. My hope is to deliver the best content I can to inspire, to inform and to entertain. Sign up for my blog if you want to receive the latest and best of my writing. If you enjoyed this piece, please share it.

Keep it Real.

 

This piece was previously published on smswaby

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Originally published: December 1, 2016
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