What I Really Mean When I Say 'It's Been a Long Week'
Living in an apartment with three of the best people I’ve met from college is an enormous amount of fun. But that being said, there are a number of downsides as well. Girls can be particular. Girls can take out their anger on each other for a number of reasons. Not to mention we are all still in school – two in their senior year, one a “super-senior” and me in my first year of medical school.
There are times when my brain screams out for their love, their acceptance and — most importantly — their validation. I know, I know, it seems silly and childish that a 22-year-old woman still needs these things, but I’ve been disappointed, hurt and walked away from so many times in my life I can be needy. At times, they joke about those moments when my “cat-like” soul comes out and needs physical comfort.
I say all of this to remind you sometimes people with depression aren’t able to say, “my depression is really bad right now and I need you to show me my life is worth something.” Sometimes all we can manage to say is, “It’s been a long week…”
Saying this is my silent plea for you to tell me that even if you don’t understand, you’ll help me through it. Because before I met these girls, it felt like there was no one to help me through it. Being hurt, ignored, ridiculed, left and looked down on during many times in my life had burned me and kept me from letting people in. But these girls have all been there for some of the worst times in my life — and some of the hardest things happened to me before I met them. The things I did to myself and the final act I considered — the act I’ve never fully confessed out loud.
So I’m begging you to understand right now. When I say, “It’s been a long week,” please do not dismiss me immediately and say it has been for all of us. Take a minute. Think. Look at my expression. I might be looking for someone to see through the lies and tired excuses and ask me what they can do to help me. I know you are busy. I know your anxiety is bad sometimes, but I try to take care of you when I notice it.
Can you find it in your heart to do the same?
Because, I’ll tell you this much…. It’s been a long week.
If you need support right now, call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “START” to 741-741.
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