It can be a challenge to set New Year’s resolutions when you have anxiety. Before I even touch pen to paper, I can picture myself failing to meet any goal or resolution I set. It becomes even more challenging when you are a person with anxiety who has just begun therapy, as I have. You have so many new goals. Yet, they still feel unattainable.
An important part of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is goal setting. There is a lot of reasoning behind this. They give you direction, focus and allow you to feel accomplished. But when you have anxiety, each goal is a new opportunity for failure.
I am a believer in the power of sharing and the strength it brings. Perhaps, by sharing my New Year’s resolutions for overcoming anxiety, I will gain the strength to live up to them and have a supportive community to hold me up if I fail.
1. Stop hiding.
Struggling with anxiety in silence from a young age has given me an incredible ability to hide the truth. I don’t lie about everyday things. I lie about how I am feeling. When I show up smiling while my insides are crumbling, my face is telling the lie. So I resolve to acknowledge when I am not OK and seek out support.
2. Stop people pleasing.
Every aspect of my life has focused on keeping others happy. The little voice in my head has always told me people wouldn’t like me if I weren’t exactly what they wanted. I’ve always strived to be the perfect daughter, the star student and the most supportive friend. People pleasing compels you to do a lot of kind and selfless acts, but they come at your expense. I resolve to hold on to this kindness, but to also be kind to myself and take care of my wants and needs.
3. Accept myself.
The drive to be perfect in everyone’s eyes has led me to feel deeply flawed in my own. I’ve set impossible standards for myself that I could never reasonably live up to. I resolve to tell myself every day that I’m deserving of love just the way I am. I resolve to believe my self-worth only comes from me and to not allow anyone’s negativity to make me feel not good enough.
I hope you too learn to accept and love yourself in 2017. For me, 2016, has been a year of change. I look to 2017 to be a year of personal growth.
You can read more of my posts on TranQool.
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