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To My Friends Who Don't Have a Child With Special Needs

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Dear Sweet Friends,

First of all, I love you. I love each and every one of my mom friends and I know you care. But sometimes I feel lonely. I feel alone in my little world parenting a child with special needs, and I need and want mom friends too. I need a girls’ night out every once in a while, and I need to sit with you and chat about everything and nothing. Because I’m just like you.

I know my life sounds wild and scary, but it’s really not. I’m just a mom trying to make it in a  judgmental world, and while I may come across as intense sometimes, I’m really not as scary as you might think!

I know many of you feel like you can’t vent to me because of what our family has gone through, but you know what? I know and understand that you go through tough times too. You want to vent just as much as I do, and you should! I may have bad days where it’s hard to hear it, but it’s good for me. It’s good because it gets me out of my own little world. It makes me realize that I’m not alone on this journey through marriage and motherhood, and it helps me know how to pray for and encourage you.

It’s OK if you don’t know what to say when I talk about things we have gone through or are currently going through. It’s OK if it just doesn’t make sense to you. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just be there. You shouldn’t pity me, and you don’t have to have the “right” words; just give me a hug and tell me you are here for me. You can even ask me how you could help – if you’re up for it.

Sure, my kids may be a little different, but in most ways, they are just like your kids! They need and want friends, they love having play dates, and most of all they love opening up their hearts to new families and friends.

So my dear mom friends, call me if you want to grab a cup of coffee together. Text me to see if I’m available to chat. Invite me to your events. Because even though I’m busy, I’ll still make time for you. I may forget your birthday, or forget to send you a thank-you card, but when it really counts I’ll be there… no matter how busy I am.

Sincerely,

A Special Needs Mom Who Misses Her Friends

Follow this journey at Singing Through the Rain.

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Originally published: December 14, 2016
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