This Is How People With Anxiety Show Their Love


This piece was written by Sam Maracic, a Thought Catalog contributor.

At first they will love with anticipation.

They will commit with a fear that the metaphorical “other shoe” may drop at any moment. This isn’t to say they don’t believe in you, or the bond you’ve built. It’s simply a product of their nature, and sometimes, it may take awhile to kick.

They are thoughtful (sometimes to the point of overanalyzing).

To put it simply, they care about everything in their lives with an incredibly deep sense of investment. They find joy in bringing their partner happiness, but also inherently fear doing the opposite. As a result…

They may be liable to respond from a place of emotion, rather than logic.

Remember that metaphorical shoe? In times of stress or disagreement, they tend to fear it is finally falling. The gravity of small situations can feel a lot larger when operating under the assumption that the worst case scenario is occurring. At times, this reaction may even result in a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading to heightened tension and anxiety.

They deeply fear disappointing others, especially their partners.

Innately hard on themselves, anxious thinkers are constantly on watch for ways they can do or be better. This can make feelings of security especially challenging to achieve. However, in some ways their concern also fuels their behavior, proving them to be some of the most loyal and dedicated partners.

They often require time to recharge.

Anxious minds have a tendency to feel hectic, and at times, understandably tiresome (which is why the ability to disconnect for a night in or a few hours of alone time can be incredibly valuable). Constant socializing can leave them feeling especially depleted, and in need of respite. This isn’t to say they don’t enjoy time with their partner or family and friends, but rather crave some quiet to re-energize. Finding a person who is willing to join in on that time or respect their occasional need to reboot is everything.

They aren’t afraid to put in the work.

As human beings, each and every one of us has our own list of idiosyncrasies that inform who we are. Sure, when it comes to love there will always be room for improvement. However, in the grand scheme of offenses, I’d say concern is hardly the worst. While anxious minds may scrutinize conversations or have a propensity for what seems like “overreacting” (which when unaddressed can be a problem), they’re also hyper-aware of the things that matter most. Their tendency to evaluate situations (though sometimes to their disadvantage) forces internal exploration. This analysis not only makes people with anxiety more self-aware (this includes both their strengths and their flaws), but also more sensitive and sympathetic toward those they love.

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