The Promise I'm Making for My Mental Health in 2017
I’m not making any resolutions this year. I’m only promising myself one thing: to stay alive.
I’m making this promise, not to myself, but rather to the people closest to me. Why? Because sometimes I have no desire to live for myself. Because I don’t know what it’s like to live in the present moment. I’m stuck in the past, and as my therapist points out time and time again, I need to learn to let go and live in the present. How? I don’t know.
I’m hoping 2017 will be the year I stay out of the ER and out of the psych unit. Since October 2013, I have spent almost a month on the psych unit combined, visited the ER countless times and been in treatment for my mental illness. I’m tired of feeling the way I do. Yet, I know I can’t help it. There is a war going on between my mind and body, between my thoughts and reality.
Here’s to 2017, to making changes, to staying healthy and to staying alive.
Here’s to 2017, to finding what true love is, to meeting the one and to loving endlessly.
Here’s to 2017, to living with a fuller heart, to appreciating all that I have in life, to cuddles with my rescue pup and running two marathons.
Here’s to 2017, to living every day in the moment, to discovering new laughter and to becoming a warrior.
Here’s to 2017, please, grant me the courage to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Grant me patience for all that I am, tolerance for those with different struggles and the strength to get up and try and try again, one day at a time.
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