17 Things People on the Autism Spectrum Wish Others Would Stop Saying
As a society, weâve taken some significant steps towards greater acceptance of individuals with autism spectrum disorder in recent years â from mainstream television portraying characters on the spectrum, to large corporations finding ways to better support the community. But despite increasing information and awareness, many people still may not know how to respond to an autism diagnosis in a way that reflects true understanding of the community and the experiences of those on the spectrum.
Even the things that are becoming more commonly known about autism â for example, the difficulty for some people on the spectrum to maintain eye contact or navigate social situations â can be detrimental to the community in the form of generalizations and stereotypes and ignoring an autistic individualâs unique experience.
To help foster more understanding, we asked our readers on the autism spectrum to share things theyâve heard that they wish others would stop saying.
Hereâs what the community had to say:
1. âI really wish people would stop saying, âOh, but youâre so normal.â When people say this, it feels like it is discrediting all the work I have done to get to the point where I am almost ânormal.ââ
2. ââI wonât have my child vaccinated. The risk of autism is just too high!â Both myself, my younger brother and my son are on the spectrum. Itâs so lovely to hear, on a regular basis, that parents would rather potentially expose their precious children to deadly diseases than have them âend upâ like me.â
3. âI wish people wouldnât say, âOh, but arenât we all a little autistic?ââ
4. âI hate it when people say Iâm âacting crazyâ and âYou need to calm down.â Sensory overload isnât fun, and even at my age, it still happens more often than not. It doesnât make me âcrazy,â and Iâm not overreacting. I just get overwhelmed.â
5. âI just asked my 9-year-old son, and he said he wished others would stop telling him to stop making his clicking noise because he likes the way it gives pressure in his mouth and he feels calm. He wishes other people better understood how he gets calm.â
6. âWhen Iâm trying to explain the anxiety I feel about crowded places and loud noise and people minimize it by saying, âWell, yeah, I donât like that either.â Itâs as if Iâm making a big deal out of something so menial, but they donât get how my sensory sensitivities can cause me physical discomfort and distress. Iâm not being dramatic.â
7. âWhen people tell me I donât have feelings or shouldnât/cant have emotions. I most certainly do have emotions, it just takes me a little longer to understand them.â
8. âI wish people would stop saying, âAre you sure you actually have Aspergerâs/ASD?â People are so quick to judge someoneâs current situation, not understanding where they came from and what it took them to get where they are today.â
9. ââSo and soâs son/daughter has autism, but theirs is much more severe than yours.â Just because you cannot always see it, doesnât mean it isnât happening.â
10. ââYouâre incapable of knowing what others are actually saying, thinking, or feelingâ â said the people who hurt me the deepest throughout my life.â
11. âMy personal favorite: âOh, I know someone with autism.â *Person continues to ramble generic stereotypes like a lecture and ignore you as an individual.*â
12. ââI am so sorry you have that.â There is nothing to be sorry about. Autism is another way that the world is looked at.â
13. ââYou must be like Rain Man, then!â No. Iâm legit not.â
14. âMy kid wishes other kids would stop using the word âautisticâ as an insult.â
15. âA schoolteacher told me my Aspergerâs is an âexcuse.ââ
16. ââCan you please look me in the eye?â No, I canât.â
17. âMy 11-year-old daughter said, âI donât like it when people say I canât do something. I can do anything. It might be harder and take longer because my brain needs more time, but I can do it.ââ
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