When My Anxiety Got the Best of Me During My Exam
My heart was pounding like it was coming out of my chest… I could almost hear the thumps echoing through my ear. I finally arrived at the Disability Resource Center at my college to take my math exam.
The DRC specialist asked me how I was doing; I smiled and told her I was doing great. I knew I was telling her a lie because I myself would not believe that for a second. As soon as I sat down on the desk and stared at my exam I started to shake. It would have not been to noticeable to others, but I felt it.
I felt it on my hands, my whole upper body, my legs, my lips, my nostrils, and even my teeth. I tried to control my shaking, but I could not. I began to space out, and I could not remember how to do the problems. My mind froze, and all I could do was stare blankly at my exam. All the numbers and wording seemed overwhelming to me. I thought maybe if I just sat there, it would all come to me but nothing did. I flipped through the pages, silently begged myself to remember and do something for partial credit. I did what I could, and finally I let out the F-word, perhaps because of the frustrations I felt or because I was angry at myself. My eyes filled with tears, and I just decided to get up before I started to completely lose it, and I gave my plain test to the specialist and left.
As soon as I arrived home I went to the bedroom, laid in bed and after crying and discussing what had happened with my significant other, I decided to let it go and see what happened. Another failed exam, another failed math course. I will try again next semester. I am hoping for a better outcome this time around. Anything is possible.
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