To My Future Partner: Thank You For Seeing Past My Illnesses
Sometimes it’s hard to believe there’s “someone out there” for someone who is chronically ill. Sometimes we reach low points and don’t think it’ll ever happen. Sometimes we can’t fathom someone staying after we drop a line that causes reactions akin to a bomb: “I’m sick and I’m never getting better.”
Other times, we remember that it’s true. If we want to find someone, there will be someone out there for us. If we want love, we can find it.
You, a beautiful light in my darkness, somewhere out there, is that love I’m looking for. I haven’t met you yet, but you’re important to me.
You stayed when I didn’t think anyone would, and you accepted me for who I am. You love me because of me, and you were able to look past my illnesses. I could never, ever thank you enough for that.
And while the list may never end, here are a few things I can thank you for, even if it doesn’t seem like enough.
Thank you for accepting the initial challenge, ignoring my attempt to give you an out when I first told you I was sick.
Thank you for understanding my illnesses to the best of your ability, and believing me.
Thank you for laughing at my jokes and understanding that humor is what helps me through my pain.
Thank you for holding me up when I’m too weak to stand.
Thank you for holding my hand at the doctor’s office, at the emergency room, at the hospital and just because you can.
Thank you for staying when I told you I might not be able to have kids.
Thank you for staying when I told you I don’t know if I can even adopt, if I could raise a child at all or not.
Thank you for all the help if we ever do decide to have kids.
Thank you for recognizing I’m trying even if I can’t do much one day.
Thank you for defining me as more than my illness.
Thank you for changing my perspective on who I am.
Thank you for being strong where I am weak.
Thank you for loving me.
Relationships aren’t one-sided, though. You will never be alone in putting work into ours. While I can’t tell you everything I can do for you, I can promise a few things.
I promise to understand who you are and never ask you to change for me.
I promise to put your best interest at the top of my priority list.
I promise to remember that sometimes it’s not easy to live with me.
I promise to do everything I can to make our house a home.
I promise to work as hard as I can in my profession, on my health and on us.
I promise to hold your hand when you are low, or just because I can.
I promise to accept any challenges you throw at me.
I promise to never define you on one character trait.
I promise to be your best friend.
I promise to be strong where you are weak.
I promise to love you with everything I can.
That might not always be enough, and we might have struggles. We might not understand one another every minute of every day, but we will have the compassion for each other to see past disagreements.
I am much more than my chronic illnesses, and you are much more than whatever the world sees you as. Together, we will be great.
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Thinkstock photo via peshkov.