The Love I’ve Seen in Hundreds of Hospital Visits With My Child

Hospitals are just as part of my motherhood experience as local parks. I’ve walked their corridors hundreds of times. I’ve been in pre-operation wards to post-operation wards.

I’ve sat in genetic doctors’ offices, along with neurologists, speech pathologists, orthopedic surgeons and more.

I’ve watched my child as she was wheeled into the operation room. I’ve tried to soothe her as they place the anesthesia mask over her mouth as she tried to fight it. I’ve watched her wake post-operation in a hysteria. I’ve carried her fragile body in heavy half-body casts. I’ve tried to hide any feelings of worry and anxiety as she looks to me for help.

I’ve meditated in waiting rooms.

I’ve prayed for strength.

I’ve cried with my husband as this side of the journey hurts.

I’ve surrendered in deep trust.

I’ve sat in respite rooms and practiced deep breathing.

I’ve seen parents pushed to exhaustion in waiting rooms and hospital wards.

I’ve seen chaos in the pre-op room, heard cries of children in fear and families not knowing how to manage.

I’ve waited in post-op rooms with other parents who are nervous, worried and concerned.

I’ve walked out of the revolving doors of the hospital in tears, or elated, or angry or stronger than before — depending on what was going on with my daughter’s care at the time.

I’ve danced out of the revolving doors when she was released from the hip-spica (half-body) cast.

I’ve walked past cancer wards, sat in intensive wards and lay down in the prayer room.

Looking at this image reminds me of the fullness of our journey. How far we have come. Only moments before, this room was full and chaotic.

We have no idea where our journey is heading, how long our daughter will be with us. But of everything I have seen and mentioned above, I’m always guided back to one thing — love.

The love from a parent to their child in a hospital is palpable, and it’s quite extraordinary to bear witness to it.

The love I’ve seen in my hundreds of hospital visits highlights the incredible human spirit — what we are capable of as parents and equally what the children are capable of after everything they endure.

We’ll always have love. And in my time as a special needs mum, it’s been my absolute saving grace. When all else is lost, and I’m scrambling on my knees trying to piece back all the parts, I find love.

To all the parents out there who love fiercely — I see you, and I see your love. Thank you.

Follow this journey at Chiara’s Journey and Miracle Mama.

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