So today was my daughters 9th birthday , the past 4/5 weeks have been crazy to be honest and how my depression had gotten even leading to the fire incident and all the chaos after it I didn't think things would look up at all .After the homeless b&b and moving in to the temporary house ,setting it all up to be as much of a home as I can ,while being ill,sore and struggling mentally and physically and some days just not coping at all.im still struggling with nightmares and flashbacks from it all and so are the kids really bad this past two weeks , but I'm really trying to look at the positives that we got away from the old house the horrible situations with neighbour etc the kids feel safe here, they're loving this home and we will hopefully be here for a while. I am feeling alot more happier and loving that it feels like a home ,I'm managing to keep on top of things and actually happy being here and making new memories and trying to focus on the good.(that's alot easier to do on a good day though) today she had the best birthday, the little one isn't very well but he still managed to have a great day too for his sisters birthday,they laughed ,played we had a movie before bed.They both at seperate times said I was the best mummy and just seemed so happy .Those little things said from them really melted my heart tonight and I didn't realise just how much I needed to hear that from them after the past few weeks especially,the little things they say like that just randomly really makes all this stress worth it and just knowing that they don't see me the way I think of myself.
I am going to bed feeling very very content tonight and thankful for the fact even after everything they've been through and especially just the changes in past month alone that they're still so grateful and loving ❤.
I hope everyone has had a lovely day ♥️😊and tomorrow or the next time I feel myself slipping today is what I'm going to remind myself of to know that I'm not completely failing as a mum or must be as rubbish I constantly find myself thinking .
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