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An 'Expression of Gratitude' Toward the Partner Who Stands by Me and My Chronic Pain


So it’s February, popularly observed as the month of love. While The Mighty community readers surround themselves with love and support, I’d like to make a special mention of my better half. As a person with chronic pain and bouts of woefulness, I have realized the best antidote to my pain is a supportive partner.

Dear Husband,

You have been the kindest helpmate I could ever ask for. Through thick and thin you have stood by me for last seven years. I remember giving you the option to leave me when I was diagnosed with ankylosing spondilitis, just that many years ago. You didn’t have a clue of what you were getting into. A chest of medicines, carting an immobile me to doctors off and on, putting up with my depressed state of mind, my weeping day and night, the constant complain of fatigue and never-ending demand for sweets, just to feel good. Sometimes it just takes the strength of character and the belief in your consort, and you topped both! All these years I kept trying your patience and you kept proving patience is a virtue to have. Thank you for being my fellow traveller in this painful journey.   

Yours truly.

Living with chronic pain can harden one’s heart. Sometimes it keeps you in low spirits and makes you insensitive towards people around you, especially your partner, as invariably you spend the maximum time and share wide range of emotions with that one person. Your everyday life revolves around that one individual. At times it is just moodiness and other times helplessness.

Today I was sitting back and enjoying my coffee while thinking of the upcoming Valentine’s Day and what I could do for my husband. My mind wandered through a lot of material ideas until it found something more substantial and much needed. An “expression of gratitude” is what I decided to craft for him for the day of love.

While we go through the hardship and struggle of balancing pain and a normal lifestyle, it is essential that we melt a piece of our heart towards that person who has stood by us. Our partner, who tolerates us, gets angry, smiles back, surprises with flowers, kisses us while we rile in pain and yet doesn’t give up on loving. It’s important to reflect on and acknowledge what an understanding partner means when life is not a comfortable voyage, nor will it ever be. Sometimes he is the tower of strength and sometimes the wind beneath my wings. But most importantly, he is there! Always there with fewer complaints and a sense of empathy.

As Nicholas Sparks once wrote, “It all comes down to who is by your side.”

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Thinkstock photo by Pablo_K