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I Am More Than the Size of My Body


I am more than the size of my body and the scars on my skin.

I am more than the “fat one” with bulimia and shame. I am more than bipolar disorder, and I am more than a name, more than a label.

I am a woman. I am a strong woman, who has experienced pain and heartbreak. I am the little girl who carries her shame like a trophy and her fear like a shield. I am the woman who dances in the rain to hide the tears that run down her face.

I will no longer be defined by the judgment you place on the “big girl.” I will no longer allow your words to penetrate the walls I built around my soul. I will practice self-kindness in spite of your words. I will stand up and say proudly that I am recovering from the illness that lured me into a false sense of security. The journey is long and painful, but I have spent half my life believing my body defines my worth. I am more than the girl who started to purge herself of food. I am more than the woman who gained weight because her body stopped functioning effectively as it clung to life. I am more than the look in your eyes that tells me I am “too fat to have an eating disorder.” I am so much more than your hasty conclusion of my story. I am a woman. I am a strong woman in recovery from an eating disorder. Who are you?

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237.

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Thinkstock photo by max-kegfire