15 Reasons to Date a Girl With Chronic Illness

Every day, people with chronic illnesses and their partners prove you don’t need to have perfect health to be an amazing partner. Sure, you may not be able to hang out all night at a bar, and you probably spend more time in doctors’ offices than the average couple. But the challenges you endure mean you’re less likely to take the little things for granted and know from personal experience what your partner needs to feel supported and loved.

We asked our Mighty community to share the reasons why having a chronic illness makes them great partners. Of course, no one should ever date someone just because they do or don’t have an illness. But it’s important to remember that even with health challenges, you still have a ton to offer in a relationship and you are not “a burden.”

Here’s what our community said:

1. “We probably know how to have a nice time, without needing to spend a lot of money. We wouldn’t need you to plan big things. We would just always appreciate you being next to us.”

2. “I could keep going forever about how a chronically ill person is the best love you will ever find. She’s cheap to take care of, feed and romance, and never leaves the house. But she is also the most loving and intuitive girl you’ll ever find and knows what ‘in sickness and health’ truly means.”

3. “We are more perceptive to others’ pain and don’t want them, in any way, to have to feel at all like we do. Our empathy and caring nature helps to balance out our pain/anger days. We appreciate the good and know how to cope with the bad. We enjoy and don’t take happiness, love, friends or family for granted.”

4. “We remind others to be patient and to slow down… Think about it – healthy people are always on the go. They are stressed and over caffeinated. Since we can’t do as much during flares, and need to keep our energy in check on non flare days – it forces them to slow down. Take a breath or two. Relax. ”

5. “We know how to appreciate the little things in life and live every moment to the fullest! A lot of individuals complain about minuscule things, but spoonies tend to save the complaining for the really big issues (no offense).”

6. “People with chronic illnesses go through so much, and when you date someone with a chronic illness, you will also go through a lot with your partner… You will learn to support your partner better, help them advocate, and develop better listening skills. Above all, you’ll learn to love someone through intense ups and downs. This is why someone with a chronic illness makes a great partner; we can make each other better partners through it all.”

7. “I find we tend to be wise before our years and have huge hearts. It can be difficult, being with a spoonie but also very rewarding for the qualities we’ve developed through having chronic illness.”

8. “There’s a feeling that is impossible to describe, when your loved one is screaming and crying from the pain when you wrap them in an embrace and kiss their head and tell them you love them and wipe away their tears and they stop screaming and they stop crying and… they smile. Smiles and laughter mean a lot more when you date someone with a chronic illness.”

9. “We’re usually excellent cuddle buddies and are always down to watch Netflix and sit or, when we’re feeling better, go on as many adventures as we can. I cherish the moments I’m feeling fine enough to go hiking or go eat a fun dinner or go on a boat ride or a beach vacation.”

10. “I may not be able to climb a mountain or go running with my husband, but I love with my whole heart and have such immense gratitude for the simple joys we experience.”

11. “We are good listeners. We know what it feels like to be alone and left in the dark, and we don’t want others to feel the same way. So we will listen to you whenever you need to be heard.”

12. “I know I’m difficult to plan with and difficult to touch sometimes, but I’m incredibly supportive. I treat people the way I want to be treated. Just ask my husband.”

13. “I have an amazingly high pain threshold, a cracking dark sense of humor, look sexy as hell in a wheelchair and know my way to most of the decent local toilets, organic food places and bookstores. What’s not to love?!”

14. “We’ve gone through enough battles on our own, an argument couldn’t be strong enough to damage our relationship.”

15. “Having a chronic illness gives us a wisdom about life that you otherwise wouldn’t have — we know how to appreciate the little things celebrate the small victories.”

Thinkstock photo by Ales_Utovko