What Photographs Don't Show About My Health
A picture only represents a moment in time. It can show physical appearances and possibly some background information, such as location, friends, pets, and hobbies. On the outside a person can look healthy, beautiful and may seem like they have it all together. However, if you look into their eyes and their smile, there is a very different story.
What people cannot see in a photo is that I have fought and almost lost my life several time. They will not see the tubes that hang out both my chest and abdomen. They will not see the scar that goes from my breastbone to pelvis. They will not see that I no longer have a colon and that I was forced to get an osteotomy. They will not see the pain I am going though. They will not see the fear I face everyday. They will not see God’s grace in my heart and they definitely will not see the 30 times a day that I throw up.
Sometimes when people ask how I am doing, I say generic things such as, “I’m hanging in there,” or, “Just taking it a day at a time.” They think that outer beauty is all that matters, but I am so much more than my appearance. I am more then just the girl smiling in the pictures. Pain or not, we all have a story that cannot be depicted by a picture.
If you see someone smiling in a photo you would think that the person is happy. However, smiling when your chronically ill is more of a form of acting. We have been trained to say, “I’m doing great,” or, “fine,” because heaven forbid you make someone uncomfortable by telling them how you really feel.
What people also do not know is that at times we have “good days” and get out of the house. When that happens people start questioning your illness, but again they don’t know how hard it was to even get up and leave the house.
So, yes I get up every day like everyone else. Only in my case, I fatigue much easier that my non-chronically ill friends. I fight everyday for my health. I fight everyday to smile. I fight everyday to stay positive. I’m a fighter and that is just something that you will never be able to portray in a picture.
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Thinkstock Image By: Smitt