The Silent Battle of Anxiety

I’ve had struggles with anxiety ever since I can remember.

Crying in preschool because I didn’t want to go in before my best friend arrived, my stomach churning before every piano recital of performance of any sort, my habit of holding my breath while I begin to ruminate on my worries (something I’m still working on).

Sometimes my anxiety was not so visible.

Sometimes it came out in the form of avoidance — avoiding parties even if I secretly wanted to check it out, avoiding team sports because I was nervous I would be blamed if anything went wrong, avoiding anything in the spotlight because if I were to mess up, I was afraid people would laugh at me.

I’ve learned to function semi-well despite my uncomfortable visceral experiences and the rude voices that sometimes haunt my head and remind me of all of the things I have yet to accomplish.

In fact, if you asked the people closest to me how they thought I was doing, they would probably say tell you I’m doing great.

Because despite the discomfort, I somehow gather the little strength I have to push myself to get my work done, I’ve learned to smile even though I want to break down, and I’ve learned to hide my pain so it doesn’t burden others.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”


I have struggles others don’t know about and will probably never fully understand. At the same time, the people around me while I’m walking to the store, at work, driving down the street — they all have their own personal struggles too. They may be different in mine, but the common factor in the human race is that we all share what it means to feel pain. To feel sorrow. To feel brokenness. Because we are human. We aren’t God. We aren’t invincible.

I hope this leads us to be kind. To be empathetic. To be loving.

I like to feel understood, but I realize with such things as anxiety that I cannot even put into words, it is hard to feel understood.

Instead, I want to be loved.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Photo via Unsplash – Larm Rmah

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Anxiety

people at a meeting

When Anxiety Convinces Me I Don't Belong

Leather executive chairs are set around the square conference table. I feel them staring at me when I walk into the room. I can hear them whispering in my head. Who is she? (She’s not one of us.) Why is she here? (What could she possibly contribute?) I am surrounded. They’re still looking at me. [...]
woman's hands holding butterfly with dark background

Anxiety: A Poem on What Anxiety Really Is

Anxiety They say anxious people Have a head full of dreams But let me tell you Anxiety is not all what it seems It’s not butterflies in your stomach Or a rush of blood to your head It’s a thousand pounding drums in your chest The stuttering, muttering, mumbling Of words your lips can’t expel [...]
woman looking at los angeles skyline

Anxiety and Self-Sabotage

I was the smart one. I was the responsible one. I was the first in my family to attend university. I was destined to be “successful.” So why do I feel like a failure? The answer: Self-sabotage. I’ve struggled with anxiety my entire life. And somewhere along the line I figured it was easier to [...]
Human hand holding mobile phone with social network notification on screen.

How Constantly Using Social Media Negatively Affects My Mental Health

I’ve never been popular. Throughout my life — elementary school, middle school, high school, college and beyond — I’ve been considered a “shy” girl, and sometimes a “sweet” girl, but I’ve never had more than a couple of friends at a time. I’ve always wondered why this is. What is it about me that makes [...]