The Grief I Carry After My Father's Death


Grief, I believe, is one of those things often misrepresented and misunderstood. To me it’s understandable because unless one has grieved, one cannot possibly begin to understand grief.

When someone is grieving, they are trying to heal. They are trying to remember someone they loved while also trying to move forward in life. Grief is hard work.

How does one recover from losing someone who meant so much to them? The short answer is they don’t. One never really recovers from the loss of someone they loved, they just learn to live with it.

I lost my dad when I was 15 years old, the only thing I can say somewhat confidently about his death is I will never stop grieving it until the day I die.

To grieve is to have loved, and to have loved is to have lived. I wish someone told me that when my dad died. I wish someone told me it was OK to cry, that it was OK to be sad. I’m almost 20 years old now, and I’m still sad about it. I’m not only sad about it, but I’m angry. I’m angry my kids won’t get to see their grandpa and my dad won’t be at my wedding.

I can deal with anger and sadness, and I trust they will subside sometime soon. But until the day comes when I believe I will be reunited with my dad, I will grieve. I will always miss him and wonder what life would be like with him in the picture. I look forward to that day and trust there will be plenty to say.

Until then, the journey continues toward trying to live a life my dad would be proud of.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Thinkstock photo by: Jupiterimages

JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Related to Grief

Silhouette of a woman alone on a swing, reaching out to an empty swing

How Grief Affected My Physical Health After My Dad's Passing

Many people have heard of “broken heart syndrome.” Maybe not by name, but most likely they’ve heard stories of people passing away shortly after the loss of a loved one. I know this to be true, as my Grandfather passed away of a sudden heart attack less than a year after my Granny passed away. I [...]
Close-up of two people holding each other's hands

What Do You Say to Someone Grieving When You Can’t Say It Will Be OK?

Many years ago, an old boyfriend asked me to tell him what my wildest fantasy was. I looked at him. “You really want to know?” He nodded, eager. So I leaned in close, lowered my voice, and told him how I wanted — more than anything — for someone to tell me that everything was [...]
Silhouette of woman standing near tree at sunset

Healing My Grief

Healing grief isn’t all rainbows. It isn’t just that we choose the higher feeling thought and forget the pain. It also shouldn’t be swimming too far into the deep of the dark part of our broken hearts. Can we fix grief? No. It’s not something to be fixed. It’s something we can heal parts of [...]
woman sitting on a pier overlooking the water

A Letter to My Father on What Would Be His 60th Birthday

You would be turning 60 this year. We would be planning a secret trip to the store to get big “6” and “0” candles for you. We would be making you a German chocolate cake — your favorite — one you requested every year. We would be dimming the lights after dinner, proudly presenting your [...]