The Thoughts I Have During a Severe Pain Flare

As I am writing this, I am in severe pain. I’d rate it a nine out of 10 on my pain scale, and mind you, a nine for me today would’ve been a 20 for me before my current state. I am periodically stopping to scream or groan or moan or change positions and these are the thoughts I’m having.

1. Is this ever going to end?

2. What have I done to deserve this?

3. Can anyone around me truly understand what I am going through or do they think I should be “stronger” or more “tolerant?”

4. Why is it such a hard decision to go to the ER? Why can’t I just go whenever I’m like this rather than have to think about the repercussions such as the hospital thinking I’m a drug-seeker?

5. Why aren’t my doctors prescribing stronger pain meds to me? My age shouldn’t factor more than the burden of my illness. Asking me to take an NSAID or Tramadol in this condition is like trying to put out a forest fire with a watering can.

6. I wish I could go to sleep for a while until they figure out how to cure this.

7. I wish more people were aware of chronic pain and illnesses causing it so they could appreciate how hard it is for us and be kinder and more tolerant.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Thinkstock photo by tab1962

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Chronic Pain

businesswoman standing among skyscrapers

Why Self-Care Should Be a Top Priority in Striving for Success

I recently read an article from Inc. titled Work, Sleep, Family, Fitness, or Friends: Pick Three. While it was written to describe the entrepreneur’s dilemma, it really spoke to me and my current dilemma with my chronic pain flare-up. The concept of the article is that it impossible to do all of these successfully and that you [...]
adele at concert

The Adele Song That Captures My Journey With Chronic Pain

This is for anyone who is thinking about “giving up” in relation to their chronic illness. “Should I give up Or should I just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere Or would it be a waste?” – Adele I woke up to this Adele song stuck in my head today and at first [...]
A woman with her head resting on her hands at a table in the park

What I Really Mean When I Say 'I Need to Rest a Minute'

Chronic pain has been my companion for my entire life – certainly not a welcome one but a companion nevertheless. I have acquired a good many diagnoses over the years beginning with scoliosis. Since then I have been poked and prodded and given more labels in an effort to find comfort. Degenerative disk disease. Spinal stenosis. [...]
drawn girl with blonde hair and red tank top.

How I Define Being 'Tired' as Someone With a Chronic Illness

“I’m tired.” How many times have you said that? Or heard that from you from someone? Sometimes you can say, “I’m tired,” because you were up all night watching movies or you were out all night drinking with your friends. I’ve gone out and met up with friends for lunch and they’ve told me, “I’m [...]