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The Thoughts I Have During a Severe Pain Flare

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As I am writing this, I am in severe pain. I’d rate it a nine out of 10 on my pain scale, and mind you, a nine for me today would’ve been a 20 for me before my current state. I am periodically stopping to scream or groan or moan or change positions and these are the thoughts I’m having.

1. Is this ever going to end?

2. What have I done to deserve this?

3. Can anyone around me truly understand what I am going through or do they think I should be “stronger” or more “tolerant?”

4. Why is it such a hard decision to go to the ER? Why can’t I just go whenever I’m like this rather than have to think about the repercussions such as the hospital thinking I’m a drug-seeker?

5. Why aren’t my doctors prescribing stronger pain meds to me? My age shouldn’t factor more than the burden of my illness. Asking me to take an NSAID or Tramadol in this condition is like trying to put out a forest fire with a watering can.

6. I wish I could go to sleep for a while until they figure out how to cure this.

7. I wish more people were aware of chronic pain and illnesses causing it so they could appreciate how hard it is for us and be kinder and more tolerant.

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Thinkstock photo by tab1962

Originally published: April 15, 2017
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