Anxiety by Storm: A Poem

At 16, I have been diagnosed with neuro-psychiatric presenting Chronic Lyme disease. This means I often feel like a nervous wreck, can’t remember things and have dealt with insomnia and depression since I was young. I wrote this poem about how hard it is to be in a room of people and not really be there because anxiety taking over every crevice of my life in those moments. This happened to me so much that I had to quit public school and start my online journey to educational independence. There is nothing better for em than to finally be able to live a life that lets me be without the stress of an anxiety attack every other hour. 

The world moves in mysterious ways.
The tides of life moving in and out,
Ebbing between OK and not breathing.
I stand on the beach at low tide,
Reveling in the rays of pure enjoyment
Ignoring the sinking feeling in my stomach.

Then out of nowhere,
The tide has all but taken over the beach.
I have no way out.
The sky is all but crashing down,
Threatening chaos over all that reside on this beach

Tears stream down my face as I try to brave this storm,
But I cannot breathe.
No matter how much I inhale,
I can never have enough.
The wind is throbbing in my ears,
Salt stings my wind chapped lips.

I am no longer on the beach.
I am in total darkness,
The world has crashed around me.
I feel totally alone.

Yet, I am standing in a room full of people.
People who are there,
But also on the other side.
I can but barely see their faces,
I am alone in a room full of faces.
And I am the only one facing this storm.

The wind still feels as if it is whipping around me,
I can almost feel the cold sting of salty rain,
My little patch of beach is barely there.

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Thinkstock photo via Grandfailure.

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