To the Ones Without Drastic 'Before and After' Eating Disorder Photos
Your struggle still matters, and you were sick enough to recover. I promise that you are still valid. You were not wasting time, resources, finances or energy. You are just as deserving of recovery as the owners of those #edrecovery accounts on Instagram.
Weight is simply a side effect of an eating disorder, but so is comparison. Maybe you were never tubed or forced into treatment or underweight. Maybe you didn’t spend X months in treatment, or maybe you never went into treatment. Maybe it was your choice and no one else knew.
I promise that you still struggled, and I promise that you are worthy of healing.
I can say this until I’m blue in the face, but I struggle to believe it too. It’s hard to accept that I’m allowed to recover when I was never on death’s doorstep. It wasn’t “recover or die.” For me, it was “survive or thrive,” and I chose the latter. I don’t regret my decision, but I do feel guilty on occasion. I struggle to believe that I was sick enough, too. Let me tell you a secret, friend. No one ever feels sick enough. No one ever actually feels deserving of recovery. You could have been the “sickest” of them all, and I doubt that you would be saying, “Wow. I can recover now! I finally deserve it.” You don’t have to have gained X pounds or practice intuitive eating or love your body or run a popular blog to call yourself recovered. You may be following a meal plan for a long time, and you may still hate your body, and you may have never had to undergo weight restoration. That’s OK.
Your story and struggles are still valid.
Someone Still Learning
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Thinkstock photo via max-kegfire