The Anxiety I Feel With My Entire Body


Anxiety. We all have it. However, when my anxiety is bad, I pass out. I throw up. I get dizzy. I lose my vision and hearing and feeling in my body and become numb.

Anxiety isn’t just being nervous about a big exam. It is, for me, a physical response, coupled with an unknown autonomic nervous system disorder I have that can paralyze my entire body.

Imagine waking up in the morning and not being able to move any part of your body. Imagine waking up barely able to breathe and feeling like there is a boulder laying on your chest.

Anxiety isn’t just sweaty palms and rapid breathing. Anxiety is waking up drenched in sweat because you can’t face the day ahead of you and standing up only to sit back down because you are so dizzy and cannot breathe.

Anxiety is more than just being nervous for an exam. Anxiety, for me, is not knowing if I will become violently ill while walking the dog or working in the lab carrying harsh chemicals.

Anxiety, for me, is a full body response where my body becomes so confused it doesn’t know how to respond. It is a response my body has to an external or sometimes internal trigger. I sometimes wonder — will I even be able to survive?

Anxiety, for me, is not just in my mind. It is in my body.

So next time you are trying to talk to me and you see my eyes glaze over, remember it could be my anxiety acting up again.

Please just understand that it is not you, it’s me. And my anxiety.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Thinkstock photo via Rutchapong

TOPICS
JOIN THE CONVERSATION

Related to Anxiety

Illustration of lion roaring with flames in the background

The Roar of My Anxiety Only I Can Hear

Pay attention to your body and what it tells you. But that isn’t always easy, especially at times when your body is rebelling. When it’s doing things that don’t feel good. That you feel you have no control over. I’m in a dark room right now. Everything hurts. I want to sit at my computer [...]
Female with terrible headache.

What My Panic Attacks Feel Like

At first, little things trigger my anxiety more and more. My senses heighten. My mind and body go on full alert. I feel chilled, though my face is flushed. I feel like a deer caught in headlights, overwhelmed by the blinding lights of a situation I’m trapped in. My body is frozen in place, but ready to [...]
Woman with cup of coffee or tea. Vector illustration.

The Best Thing I've Learned to Do for My Mental Health

The best thing I’ve ever learned to do for my mental health is also one of the most difficult things I’ve ever learned to do: practicing self-compassion. I first learned about self-compassion through reading “The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion” by Christopher Germer. Since then, the concept has become my refuge in the tumultuous journey of [...]
Beautiful woman with long hand drawn colorful hair. This is an eps10 file with blends and transparency.

What My Anxiety Feels Like, a Letter From Your Anxious Friend

Dear Friend, As you probably very well know at this point in our friendship, I bail on plans at the last minute, make excuses to stay in bed, attempt to plan everything down to the last second and experience sudden and overwhelming sobbing. I always want to know everything about everything, I mumble when I [...]