'Why Are You Acting Like a Maniac?'

“Why are you acting like a maniac? Just kidding, you OK?”

This is what someone texted me. He apparently had seen some things I had posted on Facebook about having a tough time. And this was his comment to me. All I had to see was “maniac,” and I lost it. Sitting at work, the tears flowed. I broke down yet again… when all I was trying to do was not cry today at work. Now I sit here with my face red, hoping someone does not come to my office to ask me for something. I am so embarrassed. Embarrassed for the way I look now and embarrassed for what all people must think of me. Feeling alone… and like a maniac… an outcast.

Instead of not responding as someone at work suggested, I did. I told him that his comment did not help. I told him that I was going through depression and that I am just trying to get through the day. He apologized… but… it was too late.

If he had really read what I had put on Facebook, he would’ve known not to say what he did. I posted things about anxiety and depression.

I just read an article that says how depression tells you lies. I guess that is true and I am trying to remind myself of that. Right now though, I feel like the black sheep of the family… of the world. I feel like I have made a fool of myself. I wish I could hide from everyone… but at the same time, I need everyone.

People need to really be careful with what they say..

You never know what can make or break someone. One word… maniac…turned my world upside down today. Praying for everyone who feels like a “maniac.” We will get through this. Never giving up.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Thinkstock photo via karandaev

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Depression

woman in a forrest

Facing Anxiety and Depression Means I'm No Longer My 'Old' Self, and That's OK

Ask anyone close to me what I was like at university. They’ll tell you I was happy, confident, and full of life. I didn’t realize it at the time, but looking back, it now feels like an entirely different life. I was daring and brave, trying things I never imagined I’d do. I lived abroad [...]
People participating in group therapy for PTSD

How Group Therapy Has Supported My Depression Recovery in College

When I started individual therapy two years ago, I expected the worst. I thought I would walk into a dimly lit room, lay on a couch and answer about a million questions. I was so wrong. Honestly, I don’t even remember my first session. I wish I could tell you how I felt the exact [...]
Pretty Woman listening to the music

How Music Gives Me Hope in My Mental Illness Recovery

I sit at my desk, scrolling through pages of music, looking for that one song to get me into a great mood. Some days, I can listen to every type of genre. Then there are days I feel isolated and alone to the point when my music can be the only thing I hold on to.  [...]

3 A.M. Is My Depression's Favorite 'Party Hour'

Last night around 3 a.m. — or as I like to call it, “depression’s favorite party hour” — I sat with it staring me down like an ugly monster with a snaggletooth smile. I glanced down to my hands that had previously been folded in prayer that were now clenching at my sheets. The depression [...]