How Incorporating Mindfulness into My Morning, Changed My Day
I live with the presence of depression and anxiety in my life. Not to mention, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and a possible personality disorder. Life can get overwhelming at times. I’ve spent my fair share of time laying in my bed just wishing for the motivation to get up and do something with my life. Yet, I never find the motivation.
Saturday came, and it brought me a great present. My boyfriend suggested that I maybe start my days with a shower, because it might make me feel better the rest of the day. And, he was right.
Having depression, I get those days when self-care is often forgotten about. Even on my “not depressed” days, it’s never been a priority. I never had a morning routine that included just the basics of self-care. If I remembered it, awesome. If not, oh well.
But these past three days have taught me something. Self-care can be as simple as brushing my teeth in the morning.
I was not feeling up to doing anything this morning. I was anxious, my car wouldn’t start and I was just not having a good morning. After walking through my apartment complex and getting inside, I immediately laid down on the bed, ready to give up already. It wasn’t even 8 a.m. yet.
Something inside me said to do it. Get in the shower. It’ll make you feel better. So, against my thoughts and feelings, I grabbed a clean towel and headed to the bathroom. I turned the shower on, and got in. I went through the motions of washing my body and my face. Then, I just stood there and let the water fall on me, washing away the stress of this morning. I got out, put on a clean pair of yoga pants and my new favorite top. I went and brushed my teeth and then I pet my new kitten.
It’s like all the anxiety that had built up, washed away. Now, I’m sitting outside, able to write for the first time in weeks.
Although what helped me most wasn’t just cleaning myself up a bit, it was being mindful of it. I always thought “mindfulness crap” was bullshit. Until I tried it this morning, and was open to it.
Sitting outside drinking coffee with my boyfriend in the morning had lost its “specialness.” My body was tense and anxious. So, I stopped and focused on the clouds, the birds, my fur baby in my lap, the bigger fur baby on the ground and my boyfriend sitting next to me. Everything suddenly seemed beautiful to me. I felt calm and grateful for my life and the moment I was in. And I’ve carried that thinking with me through my morning so far. Trying to notice the trees as I walked through the complex, noticing the heat of the water falling on me in the shower, noticing the taste of the toothpaste as I brushed my teeth.
I believe living in the moment and mindfulness might actually save me from depression and anxiety. Sure, it’s only been one morning, and who knows how long I can keep this up. But, the feeling is great. It’s freeing. And I love it.
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Thinkstock photo via Design Pics.