The Mighty Logo

The Misconceptions People Have About Me Because of My Mental Illness

The most helpful emails in health
Browse our free newsletters

In my experience, having anxiety is harder for me than my being a single, African American woman. Racism, sexism and “singleism” all come with problems and misunderstandings, but I believe those struggling with mental disorders experience greater stereotypes and discrimination. Regardless of my success, loyalty or lifestyle, the shame and stigma still exists when it comes to how I dress, respond, react, think or how I make choices and decisions. I’ve found that it’s sometimes OK to express I have a disorder, but not OK for me to struggle with the associated symptoms. Let’s take a trip in my world…

If I am bubbly and full of energy, I’m “manic” or “all over the place.” If I am quiet, I am surely “going through something.” If I am tired, I must not be taking care of myself when I get home each day or on the weekends. If I have bright and innovative ideas, I am getting “carried away” or “losing focus” of the goal. If I defend or advocate for myself, I am “hostile,” “angry,” “aggressive” or “want sympathy.” If I cannot concentrate, I must not be able to follow through. If I feel overwhelmed, I am not cut out for the position or situation. If I am perfecting a presentation, I must be obsessing. If I overanalyze, I am not good at managing situations. If I display any sensitivity or strong empathic responses, I must be a “wuss.” If I just complete the task myself and deny any assistance, I am “inflexible.” If play devil’s advocate, I’m being a “Negative Nancy,” obviously.

Let me reframe my anxiety.

If I am scanning the room or area or checking appliances, I am protecting us from potential danger. See, when mysterious people sit in parking lots or keep driving around specific areas, I notice that. Let’s just call it a sixth sense.

If I have this great idea, it cannot wait. I will immediately call or text you. I am cognizant that I may lose the specific and intricate details about the idea. My brain cannot hold it. If respond quickly to emails or text messages, I am either showing you’re important or I want you to leave me alone. Or maybe I am setting myself up to say, “Hey, I responded right back.” So what’s the issue here?

If I want to sit in silence, I am not going through anything. I just cannot concentrate when you’re asking me pointless questions or giving me useless facts.

If I cry with you, I have already placed my size 8.5 shoe in your size 6 shoe and walked in your shoes. It’s what empaths do!

So perhaps the next time, when encountering a person with anxiety, we should strive to see the bigger picture, and not deflect to the negative. Let’s ask ourselves, who’s really being a “Negative Nancy” here?

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Thinkstock photo via TashaDrik.

Originally published: May 23, 2017
Want more of The Mighty?
You can find even more stories on our Home page. There, you’ll also find thoughts and questions by our community.
Take Me Home