Where Are All My Spoons?


Out of spoons.

It is about 7 a.m. on this gray Tuesday, in early spring. My water has boiled, a tea bag is in my pink mug ready to brew, and the honey jar lid is in hand. Only, there are no spoons in the drawer to add the honey to my green tea.

I check the dish rack – no luck.

I open the dishwasher – empty.

One large pot in the sink from my roommate’s pasta dinner from last night has the glint of silverware under the tomatoey surface, but I don’t feel like sticking my hand in there. I don’t have the stomach for old food before breakfast. There are a few cups and plates next to the sink, ready to go in the dishwasher, but only forks and knifes adorn them.

Where are all my spoons?

I shuffle down the hall to my room, slippers cushioning my footsteps. Aha! A spoon from yesterday. My boyfriend brought me cereal for dinner in bed because my joints ached and I didn’t want to move off my heating pad. We spent a few hours at the mall yesterday waiting for my phone to get fixed; that’s why my back is so stiff today.

Before I reach my bedside table destination, I pass my desk with a stack of bills to pay: my tangible to-do list. I see the nearly-empty page of stamps next to the bills, and remember to add the post office to my errands for the day. My laptop reminds me I need to apply for more jobs today as well, but I’ve lost momentum in the four months since I finished college. I push away the sting of another job rejection that landed in my email yesterday and sigh heavily instead. Cloudy day, cloudy thoughts.

I sit down for a minute to update my shopping list on my phone: stamps. I remember that we used up the coconut milk last night, so I add that to my list too. Wasn’t there something else I was forgetting? I’m sure I’m forgetting something, but I’ll figure it out later.

The morning birds are singing. My kitten is watching them from the window sill, ears twitching at every new chirp from the telephone wire. I stand up to pet her, and notice the gray clouds are clearing up and the California blue sky is peeking through.

The blue sky is always there, just as my preferred meditation app likes to remind me. I take a few breaths, focusing on the rise and fall of my body. Somewhat revived, I return to the kitchen for my cup of tea.

Shoot.

Where are all my spoons?

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