The Anxiety and Depression It's Easy to Hide in a Selfie

I took this picture about five hours before I attempted suicide.

A woman taking a mirror selfie You might find that hard to believe because well, look at me. I look happy. I look fine. But I was far from that. Struggling with depression and anxiety is extremely difficult. It’s even more difficult when you’re struggling in silence. I never talked to anyone about it. I didn’t want to be judged or feel like a burden. Most days it was hard getting out of bed, taking a shower or even brushing my hair. I felt exhausted all the time. I felt overwhelmed. I felt like I was drowning. After all, you don’t need water to feel like you’re drowning. I went to the extreme by doing something I regret doing, but I got the help I desperately needed. I’m no longer scared to reach out to people or talk about my depression and anxiety. I don’t have to struggle in silence anymore. Mental illnesses are nothing to be ashamed of.

I’m baffled that some people think of suicide as a “selfish act.”Dealing with thoughts of suicide is brutal. We are not selfish for being tired of the madness in our mind.

To anybody struggling: I promise you it does get better. It may take months, but recovery is so worth it! Bad days are going to happen no matter what but you have to push through them. The bad days will make you appreciate the good days so much more. Stay strong — there’s sunshine after rain.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 741-741.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Image via contributor

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Depression

Frustrated Woman Driving a Car

To the Co-Worker Who Questioned My Answer to 'How Are You?'

You may not remember this. It was probably an insignificant interaction from your perspective, but I remember it like it was yesterday, and I’ll probably never forget it. We no longer work together, and because of the horrible place I was falling into, I was never able to properly thank you for what you did [...]
black african american teen monochrome looking sad away from camera with hand in hair

My Struggle With Depression and Suicide as a Black Teen

Editor’s note: If you experience suicidal thoughts, the following post could be potentially triggering. You can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741. If you’ve experienced domestic violence, the following post could be potentially triggering. You can contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline online by clicking “chat now” or calling  1-800-799-7233. Depression is [...]
young woman looking out to sea with land in distance

To the Best Friend I Lost While Fighting My Depression

Dear lost friend, I’m so sorry our friendship fell apart. I was afraid to tell you how badly I was struggling because I knew you had enough going on in your life. You might feel like I abandoned you when I decided we should stop talking, but please understand I left for both of us. [...]
Young woman looking at distance

To the Friends Who Don't Understand My Depression

To the friends who don’t understand my depression. I am sorry. I am sorry I am not the friend you deserve sometimes. I am sorry I go weeks without answering your calls or calling you back. I am sorry I disappear from all forms of social media and become uncontactable. I am sorry this frustrates [...]