The Text That Meant the Most in My Self-Harm Recovery
I have a really weird coping mechanism when it comes to self-harm. I saw it on Pinterest once, and though I’ve read the lists that include hundreds of alternatives to self-harm, this one is the only one that has ever really worked for me. The meaning behind it is healing before hurting. So, instead of cutting and then putting a Band-Aid on the cut, the alternative is to put a Band-Aid where you’re tempted to, or have an urge to cut. Then, even if you get to the point where you pull out something sharp, you can make cuts on the Band-Aid instead of your skin.
Well, I was eating dinner with some friends the other night, and I guess I still had a Band-Aid on from earlier, but I kind of had forgotten it was there. We all had a good night, and I happy to spend time with people in my life who I care about and who care about me. After we left, a couple hours later around midnight, my phone buzzed. It was a text from one of the girls I was eating with who I’ll also be living with next year. She knows I struggle with depression and anxiety, but we’ve never talked about it or anything.
Her text said, “hey, i just wanted to say that i saw the band aid on your wrist tonight. i don’t know if it’s something or if it’s nothing, but i just wanted to make sure that you know that i’m always here if ya need anything, no matter what.”
From someone I had never had a real conversation about any of this with, it meant the world. I never know how people are going to respond, but people like this just restore my faith and touch my heart. It reminded me I was seen and that I always have support and someone in my corner even, when my brain tells me otherwise.
If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.
If you struggle with self-harm and you need support right now, call the crisis hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “START” to 741-741. For a list of ways to cope with self-harm urges, click here.
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Thinkstock photo via DragonImages
Through multiple suicide attempts, living with depression, PTSD, and anxiety for over 10 years now, and having struggled with anorexia and bulimia-- I have a much closer relationship with mental illness than I'd like. But I believe in community and that we need each other. I believe in hope and that better days are ahead. I believe in the kindness of people. And I believe continuing to show up (for yourself and others) when everything is pointing the opposite way, is one of the bravest things a person can do.
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