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Dating Someone With Hidradenitis Suppurativa


Going on a first date with someone is hard, let alone someone with a rare disease like hidradenitis suppurativa. Many people don’t know what it’s like to be with someone with a rare disease, but I’m here to tell you what it’s like to date someone with HS, even though I’ve never personally gone on a date.

I¬†may not want to disclose my¬†disease right off the bat because I’m¬†afraid of how you will¬†react. I¬†don’t know if you will show disgust, sympathy, fear, sadness or confusion because you don’t know about the disease.

I¬†may not look sick on the outside because it’s an invisible disease and it’s hard to tell if I’m¬†having a ‚Äúgood‚ÄĚ day or a ‚Äúbad‚ÄĚ day.

I¬†may cancel the date or take a rain check, not because I’m¬†nervous or scared on the day of the first date, but I¬†might have a flare that came up and got angry and I¬†have to take care of myself¬†that day.

I¬†might be insecure of my¬†self-image because I’m¬†afraid of how you’d react to¬†my¬†scars from previous flares and¬†current flares.

People around me¬†might be judgmental because I¬†might be wearing something completely different, or they might see my¬†flares and talk about it out loud and act like they don’t have a care in the world, but on the inside, it hurts me, a lot.

If you are that someone who is dating, in a relationship or married to someone with HS, then I thank you for being¬†supportive each and every step of the way! If you are meeting someone for the first time, keep an open mind. It would mean¬†a lot to me to have someone¬†support me¬†every step of the way, whether you’re at the dermatologist’s office with me¬†getting my¬†medication or whatever it may be.¬†Thank you.

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Thinkstock photo via Tijana87.