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Dating Someone With Hidradenitis Suppurativa

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Going on a first date with someone is hard, let alone someone with a rare disease like hidradenitis suppurativa. Many people don’t know what it’s like to be with someone with a rare disease, but I’m here to tell you what it’s like to date someone with HS, even though I’ve never personally gone on a date.

I may not want to disclose my disease right off the bat because I’m afraid of how you will react. I don’t know if you will show disgust, sympathy, fear, sadness or confusion because you don’t know about the disease.

I may not look sick on the outside because it’s an invisible disease and it’s hard to tell if I’m having a “good” day or a “bad” day.

I may cancel the date or take a rain check, not because I’m nervous or scared on the day of the first date, but I might have a flare that came up and got angry and I have to take care of myself that day.

I might be insecure of my self-image because I’m afraid of how you’d react to my scars from previous flares and current flares.

People around me might be judgmental because I might be wearing something completely different, or they might see my flares and talk about it out loud and act like they don’t have a care in the world, but on the inside, it hurts me, a lot.

If you are that someone who is dating, in a relationship or married to someone with HS, then I thank you for being supportive each and every step of the way! If you are meeting someone for the first time, keep an open mind. It would mean a lot to me to have someone support me every step of the way, whether you’re at the dermatologist’s office with me getting my medication or whatever it may be. Thank you.

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Thinkstock photo via Tijana87.

Originally published: May 18, 2017
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