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The Reasons I Wouldn't Be Here Without You

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Editor’s note: If you experience suicidal thoughts, the following post could be potentially triggering. You can contact the Crisis Text Line by texting “START” to 741-741.

To my friends and loved ones who have been there to support me through my depression, I wouldn’t be here without you.

I feel like I can’t move; I haven’t been to work in three days, and everything feels hopeless — you listen on the phone and talk me out of bed for the first time in days.

I wouldn’t be here without you.

I’m crying on the closet floor — you listen to me cry and tell me it’s OK and bring me a book that made you think of me.

I wouldn’t be here without you.

I withdraw from school and hospitalize myself — you drive up the entire coast to bring me home.

I wouldn’t be here without you.

I am afraid to be alone because I worry I might hurt myself — you fly into town to be with me, no matter how overwhelming and scary that is.

I wouldn’t be here without you.

I quit my job and am cut off by my father — you welcome me into your home and make it mine.

I wouldn’t be here without you.

I can’t breathe or stop crying and I don’t want to be alone — you come straight home from work to hold me and tell me you’re not going anywhere.

I wouldn’t be here without you.

I’m lost, afraid and try to push you away — you don’t let me.

I wouldn’t be here without you.

If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.

If you struggle with self-harm and you need support right now, call the crisis hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “START” to 741-741. For a list of ways to cope with self-harm urges, click here.

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Thinkstock photo via Bokeshi

Originally published: May 22, 2017
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