When My Anxiety Makes Me Apologize for Who I Am


My anxiety causes me to feel like I am always making mistakes. When I make a mistake or perceive I have made one, this reinforces the voice inside my head that tells me I am not good enough. Whenever there is an opportunity for even the tiniest bit of doubt to surface about myself, my inner critic consequently overtakes me. For instance, I regularly apologize for my actions. An example of this is when I am working on a project with a team of people, and I fear that I may come across as bothersome as a result of my frequent check-ins and reminders. I just want to see us do our best and make sure that my teammates feel valued, but the anxious voice that fills my mind says, “You’re being too controlling” or “Give them the space they need to progress with the project, or they won’t want to work with you again.” It is extremely difficult for me to quiet this anxious voice because of its power over me, yet I am taking small steps to be kinder, gentler and more compassionate towards myself, striving to elevate my feelings of self-worth. I also apologize frequently for my inaction. When my anxiety is particularly strong and causes me to freeze up, I am filled with regret over what I am fearful of doing during these moments of heightened anxiety, such as making phone calls, scheduling too many commitments or standing up for myself.

Since I often feel incompetent because of what I do or what I am fearful to do, this leads me to depreciate my value, to the point when I even apologize for who I am. I question if my company is a burden to others. It is heartbreaking to feel sorry for who you are, and I wouldn’t want anyone to feel this way.

I have an important message for anyone who can relate to a feeling of inadequacy, a message I aspire to remind myself every day when my anxious voice becomes too loud: You are worth being loved. You are not a burden. And may you always remember you are beautiful, just the way you are!

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Thinkstock photo via Anna_Isaeva.


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.


Related to Anxiety

woman face

Why I Am Not Ashamed of My Panic Attacks

When living with anxiety, a day can go from a walk in the park to being on a high-speed rollercoaster in a matter of seconds. This oscillation from a pretty calm and tranquil existence to adrenalin pumped, white-knuckle ride of hell happens multiple times a day for me. I’ll share a common example. I can [...]
city

How Moving to a New City Enabled Me to Live With My Depression and Anxiety

Over the last few weeks, I have had to move to a completely new city, living away from my wife and children, to find anonymity to enable me to live with my condition. Since my last post in January, things have changed hugely. I have made progress which only a few months ago, I could [...]
young brunette girl laying in the bed with open eyes / flat editable vector illustration

Why I Hid My Anxiety From Everyone, Even My Therapist

Sometimes my brain hijacks me for a few days. I used to think I was losing it. Now I know it’s just anxiety. When anxiety strikes, it’s like my worst fears are playing over and over again on a constant loop. At some point, I will go “insane,” I say to myself. At some point, [...]
Sliced oranges on cutting board, close up

29 Unexpected Ways People Cope With Anxiety

We wish an anxiety-reducing activity with a 100-percent success rate existed. Unfortunately, that’s just not the case. And while managing anxiety usually involves a combination of strategies like therapy, possible medication, relaxation techniques, etc., sometimes asking others with high anxiety what works for them can better help you or can act as inspiration for a new [...]