The Beatles Songs That Helped Me Through Major Depression
I’ve always loved The Beatles. My parents like them and my brother became obsessed with them at a very young age, so I started listening to them. They were catchy.
I remember the first one I loved was “Twist and shout” when I was about 9. And I used to sing it out loud and dance like no one was watching. It made me happy. I started listening to others, too. I discovered “Let it Be” and how beautiful it was. I heard “Something” and I decided it was the most romantic song ever. I felt the day someone felt that way about me, I would know he was the one. With “Eleanor Rigby” and “While My Guitar Gently Weeps,” I understood the term “hauntingly beautiful” in the fullest.
When illnesses of diverse types approached my life, I listened to “Blackbird.” Like a lullaby, it made me sleep in a way that I could forget my physical pain, my psychological struggle, the captivity I felt in life. I felt free, and I started seeing the beauty in “broken wings.”
When depression made me felt absolutely uncertain about the future and I couldn’t manage to face a better tomorrow, I closed my eyes and listened to “Here Comes the Sun” and I felt things could get better. That the sun would come, and that it’ll be alright. Eventually everything would be alright.
When I felt good and I was OK with the idea of life beyond my control, I played “Across the Universe” and I went with the flow.
When I was down, I would remember I needed to be alive because someday, I hope to be the greatest mom alive to a girl I would name Lucía. I would sing to her, “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.” Every time I hear it since the moment, I get chills and something in my body tells me, You have to be here so you can sing Lucy her lullaby.
With “If I Fell” and “Hide Your Love Away,” I was able to believe in love — real, pure, love even after my father left my house. “With a Little Help From My Friends” made me realize even though I’m a loner and tend to isolate, I’ve got to thank the ones who’ve stuck with me through thick and thin. And even if it was in their post-Beatles times, I believe ”Imagine” is an anthem to anyone who’s lost faith in humanity. And “Maybe I’m Amazed” and “My Valentine” convince me every time I play them that true love exists and it’s out there.
Today I went to a Beatles tribute band concert. I sang every song. I cried. I laughed. I reconnected with myself. After a horrid week of many physical symptoms of arthritis and way too much suicide ideation and tears, I felt alive. And with each song, I could be reminded of what it meant. Of the good. Of the bad. Of the fact I was still alive, there, listening to those beautiful melodies. It was then I understood the “Fab Four,” those boys from Liverpool with funny haircuts, saved my life. Have made it better. Have given me reason to keep on living and fighting… Thanks to them I have hopes, dreams, plans. I believe in love again and my health conditions don’t seem so bad.
Thank you John, Paul, George and Ringo for everything. I’ll be in your debt forever. You not only changed my life — you gave me life.
If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources page.
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Photo via The Beatles Facebook page.