Becoming a Christian Changed How I View My Depression
During an episode of depression, I often find it very difficult to see the end of it. I often feel as if I will be stuck in this state forever. The darkness becomes very overwhelming and the light of a future dims. Each day gets harder and harder — simple tasks such as showering or eating feel like climbing a mountain. Isolation becomes the easiest thing to do. I start to think, What’s the point in talking to anyone when no one understands?
Depression is the darkest and loneliest place I have ever experienced, and I genuinely believed I would die in that place. I could not see any relief. I could not see a future. All I saw was darkness.
However, I did find relief. I found comfort. I found love. I found healing in my faith and belief in God. The major change was I now had hope. Hope that I could overcome, that I don’t have to die from depression — I can get out of the hole. The light was shining brighter.
I started to see things from a different perspective, I started to imagine a future where I finished my degree, got married, had children. I started to see my struggle as temporary and believing there would be an end. I found so much comfort in the love of Christ that I didn’t find anywhere else.
I began to find strength and motivation to fight the darkness I was feeling. I began reaching out to those around me about what I was experiencing — I found community. This was amazing as for once, I realized I wasn’t alone, there were people who cared even if they didn’t fully understand how I was feeling.
I’m grateful for this transition of perspective because without it, I don’t know if I would still be alive today. Though there are sometimes the periods of time when I do still experience depression, I am much stronger and able to fight and overcome it.
To anyone who may be struggling to see a way out of depression, I encourage you to keep fighting. There is a way out — keep hope alive.
If you need support right now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “START” to 741-741.
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Unsplash photo via Jacob Meyers.