When Living With Fibromyalgia Means Constantly Waiting
There are many things that change in the life of a fibromyalgia warrior. One of them is less likely to be on the symptom hot list but it is no less difficult to manage.
We wait for a better pain day, a better pain time and a better pain body. We wait for someone to visit because we can’t get out, we wait for someone to make our food or drinks because we can’t lift a kettle or get downstairs. And most of all we wait for life to start again – if only for a short while.
I write these words from my bed because I’m in too much pain to move. It struck me powerfully that all day I have been waiting to get a cuddle or the strength to get up and how much of trying to cope and rest through my body’s huge list of aggravations is about riding it out until something better or nicer happens – all because there is no cure and no meds to take it all away and so I have no choice but to wait.
I have learned to be so patient these days when my natural state is to be so frustrated and panicked I have no control. I’m naturally a real go-getter and a positive and motivated person. I have learned that by listening to my body’s needs and letting go of all the choices I once had that something better always does come along, whether it’s some yummy food or a smile from my sons or daughter. And then the better pain day will always come along in the end and so the waiting pays off; my new patience pays off.
It’s not a wonderful life some days, wishing time away and trying not to think of the painful and often lonely here and now. But I try to be grateful and hopeful as much as I can and remember I am still that positive, motivated person – I’m just using those skills in a very different way.
My only advice is to pass the waiting time by planning your next move, visit, day out or meal and know all the resting and waiting for better is part of your path to living as well as you can, and its purpose is looking after your broken body.
And if all else fails, I’m here in the waiting room too. You’re not alone in this strange thing we manage called life with fibromyalgia.
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Thinkstock photo via Jose Luis Pelaez Inc.