Trying Relax on Vacation Instead of Worrying About My Health


July 2017.

You know, I never really thought I’d have to worry about going on vacation… and not even for reasons you might think.

Money… no.

Time… no. Seriously – I have all summer off work.

A vacation spot… no, I’ll take anywhere.

People to go with… I have all I need.

 

My health though, I never thought that at 33 I would be concerned that my health is the reason I worry about going on vacation. It’s hard to think I could be great one minute and sick as hell needing a hospital and IV antibiotics. At 33.

33 years old. Do you know how much that sucks? That I have to worry about canceling plans with my children? All I want for them is the world. And two days ago I was almost to the point of having to cancel. As I sat in the ER hoping they could easily just change out my dislodged nephrostomy tube and then let me go. Praying and hoping it doesn’t end up in another episode of pyelonephritis.

But here I am, sitting about 200 miles from my home which makes it even farther from my hospital that has essentially been my home away from home for the past three years. All I can do is hope I can make it the next week without the need for any doctor intervention.

But this is also my happy place. The place I can be where my feet hit the sand and the smell of salt air refreshes my soul. I love the beach. The beach is where I want to be.

The beach is perfect – the way the sand feels when my toes sink into the little grains… the waves washing up onto shore, sinking my feet deeper into the wet sand… slowly rinsing away all the worries of being sick. The salt air filling my lungs and making me feel alive again.

This is the way I want to feel, in the place I want to be, with the loves of my life… my two special boys. There is nothing else I need more right now than this.

Breathing in and breathing out… the salt air makes my soul heal. And for the slightest moment, I feel healthy.

Follow this journey on Hope Within Chaos.

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Thinkstock photo via m-gucci.


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