When a Princess With Lupus Waits for Her Prince Charming

As a little girl, I always loved the classics like “Beauty and the Beast” and “Sleeping Beauty.” Prince Charming sweeps the princess off her feet and they live happily ever after. As a teen, silly movies like “Never Been Kissed” with Drew Barrymore, or “Cinderella Story” with Hilary Duff, just fueled my desire to ride off into the sunset with Mr. Perfect. Even though I know it is not real life, somehow those movies still draw me in and encourage my dreams. I want the guy that will take me on spur of the moment adventures, or come home from work and cause dinner to be served cold. But is that really what I should expect?

Throughout the last several years, I have had to come to grips with the fact that my life is going to be so much different than I ever dreamed. Long days in the sun are a thing of the past. Working full-time takes more than it should. Cooking is only sometimes possible. The list is endless…

However, I only recently thought about how love was going to look different. I always knew I would have to have “the conversation” with whomever I was dating, but it hit me that maybe what I fantasize about is not what I really need.

I need the guy who takes me on an adventure but realizes that the day after will be a pajama day. I need the guy who is OK with leftovers for the third day in a row. I need the guy who wants to make out, but understands that me in the recliner next to him is all I can give. I need the guy who gets his beer and brings me a glass of water because I have to keep my veins up for the blood draws and IVs. And most importantly, I need the guy who understands that I am giving all of myself even though that does not always seem like enough.

I get that this is not the typical fairytale. We are supposed to get to live happily ever after and all of our dreams will come true. Yet, I wonder if in fact we are more blessed because we can enjoy the good days because we survived the worst days. The days spent at Disneyland will be more memorable than days spent at the doctor’s office. Days spent with family and friends will provide us with memories to survive the days where cuddling in bed is more than I can handle.

So, I think we do indeed get our fairytale. It is just different than any Disney movie we watched as children. The secret is, it will be better than we could have imagined.

Maybe you are where I am too, trying to figure out what a love life with chronic illness looks like. Your person is out there. And when you find them, they will be exactly what you need… loving, caring, and supportive. And you will ride off into your sunset just like Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.

Thinkstock Image By: Kadriya

Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Lupus

jokiva bellard

Woman's Selfies Reveal There Is More Than Just One Type of Lupus

When Jokiva Bellard first noticed a red rash on her skin and began experiencing the painful symptoms of lupus, she would go weeks without posting a photo on social media. She felt “ugly,” she said, but now, she’s using her Instagram account to educate others about lupus and show herself (and anyone with a chronic condition), [...]
two women talking over coffee

To the People Who Suggest I Make Lifestyle Changes to 'Cure' My Lupus

Editor’s note: The following is based on an individual’s experience and shouldn’t be taken as medical advice. Please consult your doctor before going on or off medication. Have you ever been approached by someone who knows you have an autoimmune disease and suggests that perhaps if you eat healthier, diet or try certain supplements you will be cured? [...]

How I Respond to People Who Make Ignorant Comments About My Illness

Most of the articles I write come from a pretty personal place – often spurred by some moment or incident where I thought, “Gee, someone else may be going through that. Maybe I can help them.” Well, today I went out during a flare with my cane to get hot wings for my fiancé and [...]
woman texting on her phone

Why I'm So Open to Talking About My Illnesses

I’m starting to forget what sleep feels like. So what is there to do at 4 a.m.? Write. Often when a conversation starts with someone about being sick, they ask, “Are you OK talking about this?” and my answer is always the same… absolutely. I’ve been questioned a great deal about why I talk about my [...]