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When a Princess With Lupus Waits for Her Prince Charming

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As a little girl, I always loved the classics like “Beauty and the Beast” and “Sleeping Beauty.” Prince Charming sweeps the princess off her feet and they live happily ever after. As a teen, silly movies like “Never Been Kissed” with Drew Barrymore, or “Cinderella Story” with Hilary Duff, just fueled my desire to ride off into the sunset with Mr. Perfect. Even though I know it is not real life, somehow those movies still draw me in and encourage my dreams. I want the guy that will take me on spur of the moment adventures, or come home from work and cause dinner to be served cold. But is that really what I should expect?

Throughout the last several years, I have had to come to grips with the fact that my life is going to be so much different than I ever dreamed. Long days in the sun are a thing of the past. Working full-time takes more than it should. Cooking is only sometimes possible. The list is endless…

However, I only recently thought about how love was going to look different. I always knew I would have to have “the conversation” with whomever I was dating, but it hit me that maybe what I fantasize about is not what I really need.

I need the guy who takes me on an adventure but realizes that the day after will be a pajama day. I need the guy who is OK with leftovers for the third day in a row. I need the guy who wants to make out, but understands that me in the recliner next to him is all I can give. I need the guy who gets his beer and brings me a glass of water because I have to keep my veins up for the blood draws and IVs. And most importantly, I need the guy who understands that I am giving all of myself even though that does not always seem like enough.

I get that this is not the typical fairytale. We are supposed to get to live happily ever after and all of our dreams will come true. Yet, I wonder if in fact we are more blessed because we can enjoy the good days because we survived the worst days. The days spent at Disneyland will be more memorable than days spent at the doctor’s office. Days spent with family and friends will provide us with memories to survive the days where cuddling in bed is more than I can handle.

So, I think we do indeed get our fairytale. It is just different than any Disney movie we watched as children. The secret is, it will be better than we could have imagined.

Maybe you are where I am too, trying to figure out what a love life with chronic illness looks like. Your person is out there. And when you find them, they will be exactly what you need… loving, caring, and supportive. And you will ride off into your sunset just like Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray.

Thinkstock Image By: Kadriya

Originally published: September 14, 2017
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