How Dreaming Is Helping Me in My Battle Against Chronic Pain
My life isn’t a piece of cake, although it would be nice because I do enjoy cupcakes! But I do try my hardest to be positive and see the best in every situation because despite what they may be, you can find something positive in it. It seems for me, it keeps getting worse.
My health keeps deteriorating and things just keep going from bad to worse. My pains are getting unbearable and doctors don’t know what to do and can’t find anything wrong. It’s very disheartening for me. I feel like a 20-year-old person, stuck in an 80-year-old person’s body. I am very stubborn and try and try again until I can do my daily tasks. That would include…brushing my hair, brushing my teeth and giving myself a bath. Do you know how frustrating that is for someone like me?
Running is something that gives me the freedom I need and crave. It makes me feel “normal.” Since I have taken a downhill slope (and wish I was running it instead of my health taking a fall), obviously my running has been affected. There are days where getting out of bed is a major task and I need more time to do so.
It is scary to know I am getting worse because I am the only one who feels it. My husband can see it, and my friends can see me struggle more often now, but I can feel myself in more pain than I was before. You know you struggle with chronic pain when you have more than four doctors. I am hoping one of them soon figures something out with all these tests that are being done.
However, with all this, I will never lose my positivity and my ability to dream. I have many dreams to reach, but just because I am fighting against scoliosis, seizures, chronic migraines, fibromyalgia, fiber neuropathy and other issues that are yet to be diagnosed doesn’t mean I have to stop fighting. I am stronger than them. My dreams are bigger and more powerful than they are. Nothing will keep me from achieving my dreams, and that is what my tattoo symbolizes. Hope, strength, never giving up on my dreams and, of course, my love for Minnie Mouse.
One must never lose the ability to chase their dreams, no matter how far or out of reach they may seem. I am a runner with tons of health issues and when I used to tell others my dreams, they would laugh in my face. Now they want to know my secret and haven’t laughed at me again. Others tell me I am out of my mind and could never do such things. I just simply smile and say, “Watch me.” And yes, I do have to work three times as hard as others because of my conditions, but I will do it because I am a dreamer.
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