I Need Medication to Feel 'Normal,' and That's OK
Life with fibromyalgia is normal… it’s my normal.
I have had it for half of my life. Having a chronic illness during teenage years makes a person grow up fast. Life was doctor appointments, troubles sleeping, pain from stress and headaches. Oh man, the headaches.
Medications were the “new normal” after my diagnosis. Trying this one and that one. Making my perfect cocktail to be able to function as an average person. I had to remember to take my medications daily. No one thinks of these things in high school, but I did.
Different doctors meant different philosophies as to medications. The newest advancement and research, to me, meant pain and months of feeling “off.” That is the only way I can describe it. I never feel like myself when my doctors are playing with dosages and new medications.
Lying in bed last night when talking about playing with my medications again to my boyfriend, he said, “I hate that you have to take medications to feel normal.” It wasn’t until then that I began to love medication and what it has given me.
It gave me pain-free days at school so I could get good grades. It gave me the nights of studying to graduate college. It gives me pain-free legs to be able to work with children. It gives me painless sleep.
It might not be ideal to need medications to sleep, to be pain-free and to feel normal, but I wouldn’t have life without them. Those who don’t need medication to feel normal don’t understand life the way we do. I can’t go a day without it. Months of finding the right balance of dosages are worth it. Because of fibromyalgia, I depend on medications and this is my normal.
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Thinkstock photo via fizkes.