To the Doctor Who Doesn't Feel Like You're Doing Enough to Help Me

To the doctor who doesn’t feel like you are doing enough to help me,

Thank you for seeing me as a human. Many doctors can’t see past my medical record number. I’ve found it is rare to find a doctor who is committed to improving my quality of life. Living with multiple painful conditions is very tiring and exceedingly hard to treat as well. At this time, there are no cure for any of my conditions, so we simply do our best with symptomatic treatment.

When I was first plunged into the world of chronic pain and illness at 16, you were the first doctor I saw. You recognized the complexity and abnormality of my case, but it didn’t scare you away immediately. You prescribed me some anti-seizure medication and did a nerve block on me. The relief from the nerve block was so short-lived, it wasn’t worth repeating. Because I was a pediatric patient, and you were a doctor for adults, you then sent me to my hero, the physician who would effectively treat me for the next four years.

I don’t think you understand how much that doctor you referred me to meant to the four years of my life that would follow. Prior to him, my quality of life was poor. I couldn’t play basketball, attend high school regularly, or work a job. That doctor changed my life with regular specialized infusions you didn’t have the capability to offer. I never would have found this doctor or this treatment without your help.

When that doctor you referred me to was forced to unexpectedly step down with no one in his place, I needed more guidance on what to do next. Because I was no longer a pediatric patient, you could see me again. You couldn’t help treat my CRPS, but you referred me to another excellent doctor out of state who could. In addition, you agreed to manage some of my smaller pain issues closer to home.

You don’t see this, but every time you inject medication into my muscles to help them relax or inject steroids into my SI joint, you are increasing my quality of life by decreasing some of my more minor pains. Some days that makes all the difference between going to school and work or not.

I hope someday you can find peace in knowing I know you are doing everything in your power to help me. These procedures might seem insignificant to you because you do so many, but they change my life dramatically. I can tell your “lack of options to help” might sadden and frustrates you. I feel like I can see it in your eyes. I want you to know I know you are doing everything you can.

Your youngest CRPS patient

Follow this journey on The CRPS Ninja Chronicles.

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Thinkstock image by SARINYAPINNGAM

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