What I Need When I Tell You I'm Struggling With Anxiety Right Now

I am bold. I am goofy. I will spin around, dance and laugh. I will sing along to the music. I enjoy seeing new places and trying new things. I want to pass on kindness and love to everyone I meet.

But that’s not how people know me. Most people meet a shy, timid girl. One who barely talks, who avoids people and new things. Who hides behind her friends, shaking and terrified.

If you’ve met the first person I described, you are one of the lucky few.

I have anxiety. There’s a voice in my head that I can’t escape, who changes who I am as a person.

In my head is a voice telling me I am not good enough, I have never been good enough and I will never be good enough. This voice in my head tells me people do not like who I am. This voice makes me cower and hide. This voice inside my head reminds me daily that I annoy everyone and they really don’t want me in their lives. This small voice makes me believe I am nothing. How can I be who I am if I have to battle a demon inside my head who tells me everyone hates who I am and wishes I would go away?

I am constantly fighting this voice in my head, but it’s not an easy battle. At times I am tucked away from the world, wishing to just disappear so I don’t feel alone. The darkness, the fear, the loneliness and the isolation can creep into my mind so silently I don’t realize I’ve lost the fight until it’s too late. Sometimes I collapse to the ground as my body is taken over by uncontrollable anxiety. Why can I not overcome a voice that isn’t real? Why do I not believe I am loved? Why can’t I love myself?

I rarely ask for help, but I ask for it now in hopes that the next time you see me you remember. When you see me out and about and I look nervous or scared. If I am hanging back and hiding, know that it is that voice in my head telling me to disappear and go away. It is that voice telling me I am alone. I am fighting it, but sometimes I am not enough. That is when I need you. I need you to come hold my shaking hand, to whisper in my ear that I am not alone and it will be OK. I need you to rest your hand on my shoulder and guide me away from that voice that says the world would be better without me. I need you to hug me and remind me that I am loved. When I get quiet and reserved is when I need you most, but because of my anxiety, that voice has convinced me I should never ask for help and to just run away and hide.

So I am asking for help now, while I am winning the battle against this voice in my head. I am asking for your help while I can, in hopes that when I can’t ask for it that you will be there.

I have anxiety. I often feel lost and in this world. The only way I can get through this is with your help. Please help.

We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor here.


Find this story helpful? Share it with someone you care about.

Related to Anxiety

Female personal assistant cute vector illustration. Young office manager multi-tasking. Cartoon business lady illustration. The secretary holding telephone and pen.

Why Anxiety Makes Me Dread Being Offered the Job I Applied For

Recently, I’ve been applying for jobs and have had a lot of anxiety building up because of that. I was talking to my therapist yesterday morning concerning the interview coming up in the afternoon. At one point, she asked me, “What is the worst thing that could happen?” The first response to hit my brain was, “That I get [...]
Watercolor painting of a pretty woman

3 Ways to Deal With Anxiety When It Changes on You

I’ve always been anxious. I was an anxious child, an anxious teenager, and now I’m an anxious young adult. When I was first diagnosed, my physical symptoms were so overwhelming that I barely noticed my cognitive ones. Now, three years later, my physical symptoms are becoming manageable, but that also means I have a ton [...]
young woman lying in bed stretching

Why I'm Afraid of Taking a Mental Health Day

Some days, I wake up and my first thought is, “I just can’t do this today.” Most of the time, I can shake it off, get up, get ready and get on with my day. There are those days though where I literally just can’t get out of bed because I feel overwhelmed by anxiety. Although it’s [...]
couple lying on bed holding each other

What Happened When I Decided Not to Hide My Anxiety

If you’ve lived with any mental illness, I’m sure there have been days where you’ve just woken up feeling terrible — days where as soon as your eyes crack open and you come back into your body, you feel it. You know your illness isn’t going to be kind to you today. I had one [...]